These few days I have been feeling really down and moody. Emotions get piling up and up, I don't know what to do. Yet I still have to stay strong and tried to control my tears from flowing down. It's really tough. I don't know who to turn to besides Junhong. I don't want to reveal the weak me to others.

On tuesday, I saw a news regarding a SP student get stabbed and he died during attachment at china. I was still telling myself that I won't know the person. However on wednesday, through the new paper article, then i realized the SP student is my club mate. He is my junior and I still remembered vividly that he was in my group during the FO Camp.

From what I know about him, Vincent is an independent person and someone who loves archery a lot as well as metal music. The news about him was really too shocking for me. I was stunned when I saw the article. I felt sad when someone whom I know has passed away, whats more he is only age 18+. Thats too young... I really felt very sad over this issue and worse of all when I could not attend his wake tonight! My supervisor asked me to find replacements for Junhong and me when I realized during Friday, almost all the staffs are working! I am really disappointed, why can't they be more understanding? ROAR.

Next, the burden that has always exist, which is my FYP. It is getting nearer and nearer towards the SPINNOVEX interview. But yet we just can't get the program up. I am feeling stressed up and tired. I am being pushed to grow up, to be independent, to be strong under the circumstances I am facing as well as the people round me. ROAR. FYP is the priority, entertainment and others unneccessary things should be placed after the interview that's what I feel. And I believe that if you're serious over the work, your soul and body should be there to face any challenges. (:

And suddenly I remembered about Monday when I was called to Mr Ronny Tham's office and Mrs Teo office over the racist video. LOL. So "lucky" of me that I'm the only one who bears the same name as the person who posted it. But it's definitely not me ok. (:

I really feels bad after 2 weeks and I realised we're back to the starting point again.
I am confused... I am discouraged...
I want to produce results and I want to show the others we can do it too.
I hate that I have to be strong... I hate to be lost...

3 more weeks to go...
This great opportunity can't be missed.
I don't want us to be a joke to the others.
I really hope we could shine like the stars.

God, please lead us to the right path, towards the light.

Liying, please work harder! DON'T GIVE UP!

Beyond the sunset,
lies my destiny.

Hehe. i actually created this post after 4th june. but still i want to blog about my birthday! Yesterday was Jixu's birthday! (: lol. im so silly. weisum told me there's two cakes, one for eating, one to play de. both for Jixu de. (: and i actually believed her. =.= lol. innocent me~ but in fact, one cake was for me! happy & surprised! (: but kena bullied. Jixu and me... the candles won't extinguished. lol. it made me had a hard time to blow it.

After the "cake celebration", i checked my bag and saw a Domo tee inside. I tot it's the present for me from the whole class. hahah. in the end.. on 4th june when we were at the com lab then i know the Domo shirt was from the guys. lol. the girls gave me a necklace! LOL and today after biofluid, Yu ker and Zongyi came over to wish me happy birthday! (: thanks to all my classmates! :D

But im kinda disappointed, one of my bestie forgotten my bdae again... when she told me one month ago that she would rmb this year. hahah.

however, i still enjoy my bdae! thanks for all the presents.. dear gave me! (: mature 19 now! hahah!!

Dear came over to my house and gave me a surprise! (: cause i tot he was still sleeping. =D muacks! (: then we tried studying for our gems awhile. hehe. and headed to compass for lunch. (:

Then we met up with Lawson, shunfa, wengxian, marcus, weizhuang, darren. we went to amk hub to get our ingredients. lol. and headed to lawson 's house after that. We started cooking and had lots of fun! (:

ok... and one big innocent mistake i made that made everyone laugh like dead... lol. cause we do not have enough eggs so i said take two from his mum. i said in mandarin, "geng ni mama na lian li". LOL. and... everyone burst into laughter for some moments. LOL. so innocent me. cause i dont mean that.

by the way, we cooked watercress soup, lemon chicken, fried rice, carrot cake, french toast. (: all the stuffs actually tasted quite nice. (: so proud of my HALO cooks! (: i took pics of it but may have to blog it some time later. currently, im at my cousin's house to be babysitter. (: Yawns.. sleepy me.. =X